Desert Sun Shines on Jan

Alene Arthur wrote about Jan and her book in today's Desert Sun:

You remember Jan Curran. She was the talented, gregarious society editor of The Desert Sun during the 1990s.

Curran is a mere 72, yet but a kid in the geriatric set. She has moved into a retirement complex in Ventura because of health issues and a need for its security.

But her power of observation, her acute absorption of impressions, keep working like a camcorder. Other residents, though 10 to 20 years her senior, have become her extended family.

The upshot is Curran's recently published book, “Active Senior Living,” an inside look at a retirement facility and its people. The book is funny, touching and informative. You can purchase the book through Amazon.com or Lulu.com

Now Available in Paperback on Amazon

From Jan:

My book Active Senior Living is now available as a trade paperback on Amazon. Of course it's also available on Kindle and on Smashwords (for every eformat) and on the iPad. So what's your excuse for not having a copy?

96 and Counting

From Jan:

Today my table mate Dorothy turns 96. She has no children, just a niece on the east coast, so six of us have grouped together to give her a little surpise birthday party.

Dorothy has all her marbles and more energy than I have. She walks two blocks every morning, reads the Wall Street Journal to keep up with all her stocks, and dresses up every night for dinner, looking like a living doll.

All of Dorothy's outfits are color cordinated and have matching costume jewels. When one of us compliments her on an outfit ,she will proudly announce that it is one she made herself, having sewn all her clothes for work. She must have done a good job because she retired in 1974 and is still wearing those outfits she sewed herself.

Dorothy has been a widow for 30 years. She moved in to Active Senior iving when she turned 90 because her driver's license was up for renewal and she feared she would flunk the exam. " I'm a good driver," she said, " but I can't remember all those rules in the exam book, so guess I will sell my car and use the funds for cabs." .. which is what she did and does.

It's been my pleasure to sit next to Dorothy at dinner now for two years. She tells me wonderful stories about growing up on a farm in Oregon, a farm with no running water, no indoor plumbing.. real hardships but she says, " I had such a great childhood, one of 8 kids, and life on the farm was always fun."

I think back to how frail my own mother was at 95 and am amazed at Dorothy - who it happens has the same name as my Mom.

Dorothy may be old enough to be my mom and I think that when I interact with her I always have that in the back of my mind..it could be my mom sitting there. Wish it was.

So tonight we will party and Dorothy will turn 96 and she will know that here at Active Senior Living she has a lot of people who love her and are onvinced she will make it to 100! And, yes, she read my book and told me she laughed and laughed and also shed a few tears and loved it. Sure made me feel good!

Active Senior Romance

From Jan:

a bit of news from here at my Active Senior Living facility...

Claire and Bernie were married in 1950, had one child, a daughter and then divorced a few years ater. Each remarried , moved from here to other cities and rarely saw each other. Of course, there were the family events where they were more or less required to be together.. a daughter's wedding, the birth of a granchild, a graduaton..that sort of thing. Claire carried some sort of grudge, or dislike she never got rid of, and when they were together she was, by her own admission, rude to Bernie.

Okay, we jump ahead to modern times and both Claire and Bernie are widowed ,both in their 80's and both no longer able to live alone. They didn't need assisted living, but they needed what active senior living offered... housekeeping and other people around for a social life and the comfort of knowing there are people, other residens ,close by for comfort, support and friendship.

Their daughter moved Claire to my active senior living in May. Claire wasn't happy about the move ,hated to leave her home and the familiar things about living in San Francisco.. but her daughter lives here and her grandson and it meant being closer to them, so she moved and settled in.

Then, in September a new resident moved in. Bernie. His health was fragile, there were a few signs f dementia and his daughter wanted to keep a closer eye on him, so she decided the easiest thing for her was to have both of her parents living in the same building. And, maybe, I thought, the daughter carried the thought that maybe her parents would get back together.

Well, Claire was furious. Bernie was not.

" We grew up in the same town, went to the same University and married during our senior year," he said. " We share a daughter and a grandchild. I guess we have come full circle."

Bernie would ask Claire out for dinner. She would refuse. When their daughter or grandson came to visit they would sit together in the dining room or the lounge, but Claire stayed stubborn and basically rude to Bernie.

We all watched this playing out, and some of us -- okay, me -- kinda hoped they would get back together cus that would made a nice romantic end to their life story.

Last month Bernie tripped coming out of the elevator and broke his hip. After weeks in the hospital and some time in a rehab facility it was decided he had to move to assisted living and out of this building.

We all felt sorry for him. Well, not all. Claire didn't give a hoot, in fact, was all smiles when she heard he had to move to assisted living.

Made us all wonder what had happened back in the early 60's in their marriage that caused the divorce and made Claire carry all that anger so many years.

So, if like me, you were hoping for a happy ending to their story , there isn't one.

But, I have another story of a hot romance going on in the building now and will share that with you n another day. No, my friends, it is not me in the love affair. I should be that lucky!

Starting to Feel Like Summer

From Jan:

One of the nicest things about Ventura ,CA. is that it never gets too hot.

After years ( 25) of living in Palm Springs and facing temperatures at 120 or more some days, it was such a welcome relief to be here where a hot day meant maybe 80. And those days were far and few.. with the average temperature around 70. Almost ideal. Summer usually means a few hot days, but also a lot of days of fog.

Well, right now , this week we haven't had any fog but we sure have had the hot days and I'm not too pleased about it. Hard to take a nap when it is hot in here. To me, a nap means getting under my mom's " nap time" quilt for an hour or so. She used it for years and after she passed away I took the quilt and sent it back to Ventura and put it at the foot of my bed. So, a nap means using that and thinking of good times with my mom.

Mom would surely laugh if I could tell her about the time I spent with a new resident, Dale, the other day.

I was sitting in the lobby lounge with my buddy Larry, just passing the time of day before we went in to dinner when Dale came over and sat down on my other side and began talking to me.

"Do you like movies?" he asked.

" Yes, " I said.

Dale was all smiles. " You know, they show a movie here every night upstairs in the media room. I could come to your apartment and get you and we could go together. How about if we do that tonight?"

" No thank you," I said.

" It's an hour before dinner. Let's go to the park. I still drive and my car is out in front. Come on," he said , reaching for my arm.

I pulled my arm away and said, " No, thank you, I don't want to go to the park."

Dale leaned in closer, as if he had a secret to tell me. " Do you have a DVD player?"

" Yes, why?"

" I have a lot of movies. I could bring one to your apartment tonight. It's more fun if you watch a DVD with someone else. What time should I come over?"

" I'm not interested in watching a DVD with you," I said, leaning away from him.

" Well, then," he said, all smiles again, " Let's just go to the park together. They have benches and we could sit together and just enjoy the sunshine."

" My answer is still no," I said , hoping my tone showed that I had enough of his asking me to do something with him.

"What's your apartment number?" he asked. " I'll just come over tonight and we can visit or watch t.v. together."

"I'm not giving you my apartment number," I said , " I don't want you to come over so get that idea out of your head."

Larry who had been sitting quietly and listening to all this began to laugh. Dale looked at him, as if noticing him for the first time.

" And who are you?" Dale asked.

" I'm Larry and I don't want to watch a DVD with you, or go to a movie, or sit together to watch t.v. and don't ask me to go to the park, either."

Well, I burst out laughing at Larry's response to Dale. Dale, on the other hand, didn't find it funny and stood up, putting his hand on my shoulder. " If you change your mind and you want to get together after dinner just give me a call. I'm in apartment 104."

And with that parting request he left the lounge area.

" I think you made a conquest, " Larry said.

We were still laughing as we headed in to dinner.

After the Loins

From Jan:
"After baked loin of cod as our menu choice last night ... and who ever knew cod had loins, I expected tonight's choice to be roasted leg of Rainbow Trout. Our chef is very creative and not always in a good way. His seasoning of choice is always jalapeno and gravy is on everything. Same gravy, no matter was the entree is. I've gotten used to eating cold mashed potatoes, over cooked beef and chicken that is less than tender but the good news is I haven't lost any weight. Maybe that is because I do the feeding tube for breakfast and most days for lunch , too, and that gives me some good calories.

When we are served a meal that is less than desirable I am reminded of what my friend Ed told me ( and I put in the book Active Senior Living) and that was that he figured the food budget per resident was about $7 a day. " it's like Boy Scout camp," he had said, " only here we have indoor plumbing."

I've talked to residents at other active senior complexes and it is the same story everywhere.. not just here and not just in California. The food tends to be the least most attractive thing about the place. But , as my friend Betsy says, " we didn't have to go get the groceries, cook the meal, clear the table or do the dishes. They can cook it any way they want and it's fine with me!"

Do Fish have Loins?

From Jan:

Yesterday we had a marketing event here. It's so damn dumb. It's a senior prom and there are women downstairs dressed like they are preparing to walk down the aisle as the grandmother of the bride. Lots of pastel shaded lace suits and dresses. I almost got the giggles looking at them. All the furniture is out of the lobby and replaced with cocktail tables and it is decorated like New Year's Eve.. a five piece " orchestra" will play for dancing. The dance started at 5:30 an goes until 8 so we were all told we had to eat dinner at 4:00 and by 3:30 the dining room was full of people, me included. I wasn't even hungry which was good cus dinner was loin of cod. Do fish have loins? I ordered sausage and eggs, ate that and got the hell out before the public began arriving to wine and dine and dance with free champagne and bite size goodies like meat balls, which Jay said were probably better than our dinner. Ah ,the joys of this lifestyle! Guess I can always write about that for the sequel to Active Senior Living.

The Big Search

from Jan:

The damndest thing here at the Inn. Someone with nibble fingers has been stealing some of the decor items from Xmas out of the lobby ,plus pillows off the sofas, things out of the activity director's office. So a letter went out to all of us asking whomever stole the stuff to return it and no questions would be asked. Well nothing was returned so today we all got a letter saying that each apartment will be searched next Wed. between 11 and 1:00. Of all the dumb things. There isn't room in my apartment for an extra box of Kleenex let alone some Xmas decor.
And by telling the thief or thieves when the search will be couldn't they just put the stolen things in a garbage bag and go put it in their car until after the search?

I'm Cooking on Lulu

From Jan:

Molly Cook left me a wonderful review on Lulu.

You'll laugh! You'll cry! You'll recognize human nature no matter how old you are, but if you're over 65, you'll probably recognize yourself and one or more of your friends. Jan is a wonderful writer who can make you laugh and shed tears in the same paragraph. Her personal account of life at "the Inn" and her courage in the face of mounting challenges show us she is the Energizer Bunny of writers. You'll be glad you met Jan Curran!

Thank you, Molly!

Another Lovely Review from a Reader

From Jan:

Another great reader review, this one from Dave in Bloomington:

“Active Senior Living," a shopworn marketing phrase, is also the title of a new book by Jan Curran, a resident of a California senior apartment complex and a former reporter and columnist for the Contra Costa Times and The Desert Sun in Palm Springs where she hobnobbed with retired movie stars and politicians.
In this ‘fictionalized memoir” Curran describes realistic dilemmas facing seniors who courageously try to live independently and avoid moving into “assisted living,” which may be the new name for nursing homes. In the independent living building, a nurse regularly evaluates present and prospective resident to determine if they are healthy enough to live independently and if they aren’t they need to make other arrangements. The corporation that owns the independent living building also operates a nearby assisted living facility, but assisted living expenses are out of the reach for some seniors trying to live independently.
Rather than being overwhelmed by these momentous decisions, residents band together to offer emotional support to each other -- a shoulder to lean on in tough times. “Life at the Inn is full to the brim with bountiful friends who just happened to be priceless octogenarians,” said Curran who was a 60 something “youngster” when she moved there from the desert.
Rather than an expose or sob stories about senior citizens being exploited, “Active Senior Living” is a testament that people like Curran with low expectations about senior living arrangements can open themselves to new friendships, share memories and experience life with renewed vigor. “Ages blur and friends become family,” she writes.
Curran’s innate reporting skills and her empathy for others come through as she she gently probes and intervenes to help others who face overwhelming mental and physical challenges.
The book is somewhat reminiscent of the Betty Macdonald novels of the 1940s -- “The Egg and I” and “The Plague and I,” where humor is found in living on an island chicken farm and recovering from tuberculosis. Rather than “Ma and Pa Kettle,” Curran encounters 90-something would-be Romeos (with or without Viagra) aggressively seeking her companionship. Compassionate rather than mean-spirited is her approach to the 300-pound matron in the shocking pink K-Mart sweat suit and the 90-year-old widow with extensive cosmetic surgery who looks 55.

Thanks, Dave!

Another Great Reader Review

Jan writes:

I got this marvelous review from Ann Shields today.

"Great read, Jan. Kept me up at 5 a.m. two mornings in a row. You took us from frustrations at coping with new surroundings in a new town, smaller living space, geriatric central as your Inn-mates. But you did more than cope, you made it your own world, open to the challenges, accepting your situation with grace and humor. The people who shared this life with you were endearing, quirky, domatic and sweet. What a great place to be through the ups and downs of your cancer nemesis, with love and comfort from all these fellow Inn-mates who nurtured you. Cheers to the foursome who adopted you. The Special fondness for Ed. Seems that the Inn changed you and you managed to change the place. Serendipity in action. Wish my mom were alive so I could buy your book for her. She would have loved it."

Thanks, Ann!

Save on my Book

If you order ACTIVE SENIOR LIVING at Lulu.com today or tomorrow & enter coupon code SHADOW, you'll save 15%!

What the Readers Are Saying

From Jan:

I am so thrilled by the Amazon reader reviews. Here's one from Lesley Suddard:

"Active Senior Living is a delightful read. The quality of the writing and the editing is very good, which is sometimes lacking in Kindle edition books. I found myself laughing and crying with Jan, reliving her experiences moving in and settling into life at an "Active Senior Living Community", her encounters with the other "inmates", and the sweetness of the interactions with the residents there as they developed bonding friendships. Not only is this an entertaining read, but it is also an enlightening one. With my parents approaching the age where either an independent senior living facility or an assisted one may soon be required, the insights into the advantages and the pitfalls of these facilities provide kind of a guidepost for what to look for when evaluating various alternatives."

Thank you, Lesley!

Do You Kindle?

From Jan:
..

Do you Kindle? Do you have one of those? I don't and only know one person who has one. My friends here at Senior Living aren't in to tech stuff, most don't have computers or know how to use them, so a Kindle would be beyond their knowledge.

But someone has a Kindle and those folks have spiked my sales on Amazon's Kindle page. If you have a Kindle go order my book there. Downloads in seconds and according to my one pal with a Kindle, it looks great. But, best of all, readers of my book on Kindle have been leaving rave reviews of the book and that makes me very happy -- and surprised. Didn't expect that.

If you are still of the age and mindset that you want a "real" book here's how you get a print copy of my book..

You can order my new book ACTIVE SENIOR LIVING here.

Other news? Those of you who have been reading my blog since 2003 have followed , and supported me,through a zillion Pet scans and doctor appointments and battles with cancer. I have had cancer 6 times, and gone through 4 years of chemo and two years of radiation. This new cancer is a tumor in my liver. My recent scans showed it is growing.

Treatment? Doctor says I have been through chemo so many times that my body can't handle it again and radiation , I assume, is out of the question.

There is a clincial trial being conducted by a Doctor in Santa Monica but that would mean a long haul to get there and back and my doctor said that the pill makes you sick. Oh, great. On the good side, if it works then the cancer is gone but it is a big risk to take. Will think about it.

In the meantime, a visiting nurse is coming here twice a week to check on this darn infection around the feeding tube. Seems to be getting better but the site sure hurts. Which reminds me I have a new pain pill and it works pretty well. Tramadol. Have you heard of it or taken it?

I also had a crazy thing happen. I had some really bad pains in my lower back, was taking Tylenol every 4 hours and it was just taking the edge off. Finally, off to the doctor and bottom line is I have a compression fracture in the spine. Just what I needed ,right?
It all gets to be a joke after awhile.

Book talk? I shared son Lee's "Mr. Monk In Trouble" with a few people in here and they loved it. I did, too. I think it is his best MONK book. It's really two stories in one and lots of neat stuff about the old west. Do yourself a favor and go to Amazon.com and order that book.. or go into a Barnes and Noble to buy it.

What really tickled me is he had a character move into an Active senior Living place that surely did resemble where I live. Our family does that, puts in inside jokes or names characters or places after family or friends. Coming up with names for characters is one of the tough parts of writing a novel. I used high school friends' names, people from Palm Springs, people from Washington, DC. and a girl friend I have known about 40 years.

Yes, the rain here in Southern CA was pretty bad but yesterday we had blue skies and sunshine and today looks nice out, too. Chilly, but nice. More rain due on Wednesday. Natch , cus I have a doctor appointment that day.

My caregiver called in sick today with a cold so I am on my own, so time to log off here and try not to make a big mess giving my self that formula in the feeding tube.

Thanks for stopping here for a read.

Questions and Answers

Cathy, on Amazon, writes:

"Jan, I bought your book yesterday and finished reading it before I went to bed. I loved it! I hope your cancer is now all in the past and that all of the friends you made are doing well--especially 'Ed.'"

Hi Cathy, So pleased you loved the book. "Ed" is living in assisted living, his Parkinson's is under control and he is doing well. The friends here at my Active Senior Living are reading the book and finding themselves and laughing so that makes me happy.

Wonderful Feedback

From Jan:
I am so touched by reader reviews and reader comments I have been getting from my book, like one from "Cathy B":

"I bought this book for my Kindle yesterday afternoon and stayed up reading until I'd finished it. By the time I was done I felt like I knew all the people Jan met during her stay in assisted living and was as attached to them as she obviously is (and they to her). I am hoping that one day soon she will write a follow-up book so I can find out how all of "my" new friends are doing. After reading this book, I realized that even at 80 or 90 life is what you make of it. Like any other time of life, there are joys and sorrows, smiles and tears. AND there are "kooks" in every age group, LOL. Please, Jan, don't make me wait too long for an update. And give "Ed" and the others a hug from me."

And I was very moved by this comment from Annie:

"I finished the book, and I thoroughly enjoyed it. The characters were just wonderful, and the stories so funny and touching. I felt I knew these people and was sorry for the book to end. I actually put off finishing it, so I'd have it to look forward to. I only do that with books that are special to me--and this one certainly was.

Jan, you'll be in my thoughts from now on. Thank you so much for sharing your story. It just made my week in so many ways! I lost my mom last February. She was 86 and I miss her so much, I can't tell you. I remembered so much of her last years due to this book, and in a good way. She was never in a home, but at one point after my dad died, she wanted to. Your book also allowed me to imagine the life she really wanted in her last 7 years and to let go of being angry at family members who stood in the way of that happening. She'd have loved having women and men around to do things with. She'd have fit in quite well with you and your gang. My best to you all, and I will be thinking of you."

Thank you so much Cathy and Annie!

Now On The Kindle!

ACTIVE SENIOR LIVING is now available on the Kindle for just $2.49!

I don't have a Kindle yet...but if I sell enough copies, I will!

How Jan Started to Write "Active Senior Living"

From Jan:

You want a bit of background on the book? I began writing on my blog about life here shortly after I moved in and people were laughing at what I was writing. One of my kids said don't blog it, go for it in a book.. so kept on writing but as a book. Wrote about a full year here, my first year ,from the day I moved in until a year later with all the crazy people I met, some sad things , some very funny things, some touching things and some things that touched me. And some that did not touch me, like the men eager to tell me that either they had Viagra or didn't need it and mind you, these old goats were in their late 80s, to mid 90's.

It's not all funny cus I wrote about my battle with cancer that first year, too, the radiation and all and how supportive the people here were to me. Very loving, just as they are now when I am fighting cancer again.

I hope you will enjoy the book and that it will give you a smile. If your parent is considering going into a retirement home or you have a friend battling cancer or you just want to know what goes on behind the walls of one of these places.. then this is the book for you.

Rules to Live By

Here are the "house rules" for the dining room at the Active Senior Living facility:

1. No sleeping in the dining room.
2. Please use tissues rather than the cloth napkins for blowing your nose.
3. No baseball caps or other head gear in the dining room.
4. Women should not dine with rollers in their hair.
5. No bare feet.
6. No pajamas, nightgowns or robes in the dining room.
7. No wine service with breakfast.
8. Motorized scooters in designated areas only.
9. Wait staff will not be responsible for partials or dentures left on dining tables.
10. Wait staff will not be responsible for hearing aids left on dining tables.
11. Second helpings on dessert only.

Welcome to the Home

Here's an excerpt from the book:

Stan was at my door two hours after the movers left me in my new home at an Active Senior Living Center in Shayna Beach. Or, as I called it, the Alta Cocker Inn.

“Hello, young lady,” he said, smiling broadly. “My name is Stan Bodie.  Is your mother home?”

Is my mother home? No man had come knocking at my door with that question in fifty years and, when they had, they were selling encyclopedias.

I gave Stan the once over. All 5’2” of him. White hair, styled in a comb over that began just over his left ear, thin mustache. Trifocals. White tennis shoes with black executive hose.  Petite. If he was a woman, he’d be a size zero at Chico’s.

He’d obviously dressed to impress. His leisure suit, 100% polyester, in a beige waffle weave, had to be at least 40 years old and darn if it, and he, didn’t look like an exhibit from the fashion section of the Smithsonian.

“Nice outfit,” I said, trying to say something to explain my staring at him so intently.

Stan beamed. “My wife always loved this one. She’s been gone twenty years now, but I know it would make her happy to know I still wear this. And that it fits perfectly.  Actually, I have three of these suits. They’re designed for relaxing. I have them in different colors. You’ll see. I wear one every day and you can tell your mother I do my own laundry and these always look good because they never need ironing. Some new kind of fabric. Does your mother still drive? I don’t, but I would pay for the gas if she drove.”

“My mother lives in Seattle,” I said, “And, she doesn’t drive, either. Were you thinking of dating her? Is that why you’re at the door?”

“Store? No, I don’t need anything at the store,” he said, totally ignoring all I had said.

“Are you hard of hearing?” I asked, raising my voice.

“Yes. I wear two hearing aids; cost me $6,000, but I can afford it. They help when I remember to change the batteries, but most days I still have trouble hearing, so you and your mother need to speak up when you talk to me,” he said, turning his head from side to side so I could view his aides.

“Does your mother wear hearing aids? Will I need to speak louder to talk to her?”

“Stan,” I said, my voice now a full octave higher, “my mother is not here and will not be here and why are you so eager to meet her anyway?”

He pushed his walker to one side, thrust his hand out to shake my hand and make his introduction more official.

“I need to meet your mother because it’s my job to greet each new resident on the second floor. I got elected in a landslide. I ran a good campaign, too. My slogan was ‘Stan Is Your Man’. I live in 217, your mother lives in 225. See how close we are? When is your mother moving in? It’s important that she have my phone number. Part of my job is to be the emergency contact for this wing of the second floor. Something is wrong? All she has to do is call me. Now, I can’t hear the phone ring, but if she lets it ring a long time, eventually I will see the red light indicating I have a call. Of course, she could just come and knock on my door, but I can’t always hear that, either, so I leave my door unlocked. Tell her to just walk in. How old is your mother? Does she have her own money?”

“Stan,” I said, speaking at almost a scream level, “my mother is 94, is financially secure and...”

“Oh, 94,” he interrupted. “That’s perfect. I’m 95.”

“Stan, you’re not hearing everything I say, or you have selective hearing. Which is it? I’ll talk louder.”

“Chowder, you say? No, I had lunch, but thanks.”

“Stan,” I yelled. “Listen to me. My mother is not moving in here. She is very happy in Seattle. I’m the one moving in here. Did you hear that? I’m moving in here, my mother is not.”

“I heard you, young lady, and you’re too young to live here. Does your mother know her daughter is living in an old folks’ complex? Tell her not to worry. I’m here to protect you,” he said.

“Protect me? How?”

Stan stood up straighter, took on an air of importance.

“I’m the fire marshal for this floor. If there is a fire, I’ll come to alert you and then you follow me down the stairs.”

“Stan,” I said, “Look, you’re hard of hearing. I don’t mean to be rude, but how will you ever hear the fire alarm? Wouldn’t it be better if I alerted you?”

There was a big smile on Stan’s face now. “Okay, you alert me. Do you drive? We can go to some nice restaurants. You know, I’m just down the hall, so come over anytime you’re feeling lonely. And, just between you and me, I have a prescription for Viagra.”

Active Senior Living

NOW AVAILABLE!


Jan Curran, a vivacious socialite and newspaper reporter, reluctantly moves into an Active Senior Living complex to recuperate from a brutal battle with cancer. She tackles the surprises and challenges of her new life with warmth, wit, and courage, meeting a colorful cast of unforgettable characters in an often hilarious yet profoundly moving story of friendship and hope.


You can now order it direct from the publisher as a trade paperback or electronic download. It will soon be available on Amazon and other online retailers.